THE PINK APOCALYPSE- CAIT SITH'S DAY OUT
by PinkApocalypse
Summary: A weird story inspired by way too much caffeine late at night and a very disgruntled mog. This is the story of what happens when good Mogs go bad and nothing stands between the utter destruction of the world but the Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid and a ra
1. May the Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid be...

HE PINK APOCALYPSE- CAIT SITH"S DAY OUT

Disclaimer:There are a few Final Fantasy VII characters in here, please don't sue us for using them - we don't have any money any way!!They belong to Square not us sigh, but not for lack of trying!!The chibis are ours, but I don't know who in their right mind would want to steal them in the first place!By the way, no Mogs where harmed in the making of this fan fic!

** **

**THE PINK APOCALYPSE: CAIT SITH'S DAY OUT**

** **

By: Pink_Apocalypse

Chapter One: 

_May the Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid be With You_

_ _

The train screeches to a halt as it pulls into the Midgar depot in sector three and the passengers collect their belongs and exit onto the dingy platform.After the crowd moves away the last two passengers saunter out. 

The older of the two has her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail with bangs hanging down in her eyes.Her sharp hazel eyes move over the scene as the other walks up behind her.She is similar in appearance and from their nearly

identical eyes it is obvious that they are sisters.Her shoulder length light brown hair wildly dances around her face as she looks up, adjusting the goggles perched on her head.

"OK Kree," the oldest says with determination in her eyes, "we're almost to our target and we're not going to screw up this mission like we did the last one."

Kree looks up in annoyance, "That mission to Disneyland doesn't count.How

the hell was I supposed to fit the whole Dumbo ride in your purse anyway!"

Jen cocks her head to the side, "I don't know, but we didn't have to blow up

three gift shops and the tea cup ride on our way out."

Kree grimaces, "Yea, the Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid was pretty pissed off

about the tea cup thing."

"You know how much he liked that ride... it almost crushed him... literally."

"Heh...heh...come on let's just focus on the mission," Kree mumbles tugging

at her flight jacket."Hey," Kree almost shouts looking at Jen, "Are you

crazy! You're out of uniform put your goggles back on!"

"Uh... oh they where messing up my hair! Why can't we have bandannas like

the Chibi Vincent cultists?"

"Cuz we're not Chibi Vincent cultists!We're Chibi Cid cultists, or did you

forget," Kree said gesturing to her flight jacket.Both are wearing basically

Cid's costume only

female cut versions, except Jen has a very long nasty sword, the Save the

Queen to be exact (F.F. Tactics people!), and Kree has a shot gun equipped

with mugmum parts (Resident Evil people!), for all Chibi Cid cultists are

required to wear the uniform.

"Ya, I remember, it's not something I'd forget like our home address, geez!"

Kree rolls her eyes."That's why Cid bought you that collar that says if

lost please call 1800-555-ChibiCid."

"Isn't that too many numbers?"

"You think the great and powerful wizard of OZ... oh no I mean the great and

powerful Chibi Cid has to obey the menial laws of the phone company?!"

"Um... no... OK anyway back to business!"

"Why did we have to go all the way from Rocket town to Midgar just to get

Chibi Cid blue Jell-O!Why doesn't he just use his magical powers and make

some shoot out his as... nose!"

"It is not our place to question the ways of Cid... besides I think this is

punishment for hanging Shenra from the empty rocket tower again."

"Oh... ya... forgot we did that.Why did we do that?"

"Don't know seemed like the thing to do at the time.Now, " Jen says looking

toward the old reactor that has been recently transformed into a Grocery store.

Kree shacks her head and mutters "Only Shinra." Reactor music begins playing

in the background.They look up at the huge former reactor and pause for a

moment before rushing in.Abruptly they stop, turn around, walk back into the

parking lot, and grab a cart before rushing back in.

************************************************************************

*Meanwhile In Rocket Town*

Chibi Cid floats back and forth passing the floor."Look Shenra," he says in

a gruff voice that is intended to be soothing, "I will not get rid of my

cultists.I got them from the pound when they where just little."

"But Cid," Shenra replies in a an uncharacteristically forceful voice, "This

is the third time this week they've hung me from the rocket tower!Not to

mention how they've been scarring the locals, which is very hard in Rocket Town."

"Hey, they just got spunk!," he says with a grin.

"Shall Igo into what they did to the flight crew?

Cid winches, "No, let's not relive that."

"What about the space crew... they still act weird on Tuesdays because of that?!"

"Well..."

"And let's not forget the night they spent howling outside our window?!"

"But..."

"Or the time they filled the Chocobo pen on the Highwind with whipped cream?!"

"Now $@#% Shenra!I like 'em they're my cultists and that's that!"

Shenra kicks the back of her foot, "Cloud doesn't have this trouble with his cultists."

"Cloud doesn't have any!"

Shenra sighs, "Where are they anyway?It's been too quite."

"I sent 'em to get blue Jell-O in Midgar, ya got a $&#@ problem with that?"

"No Cid."

"You Know I can't go to Midgar myself... Not after that damn hair cut!"

"Ya, I know, it's OK Cid."

Cid glances at his non-existent wrist and looks at his floating watch."Ah,

they should be just about %&# done and I told to meet me in Kalm."With that

he wiggles his nose and fades out of the living room in Rocket Town.

**********************************************************************

*Back in Midgar**

A loud rumble followed by a huge explosion follows Jen and Kree as they race

out of what's left of the "grocery store."

"THOSE PEOPLE!How could they do that to the planet?!"Jen shouts.

"They're sucking the life out of it," Kree agrees, "You think Shinra would

have learned by now."

"They know Styrofoam cups don't biodegrade!"

"Well we sure taught them!They'll think twice about destroying the planet

next time they're stalking the picnic supplies aisle!"

"Well at least we got the Jell-O."

"Ya...,"Kree falls silent as a scorched Chibi Rude walks out of the rubble

mumbling "Paper or Plastic" before falling to the ground, passing out like a light.

"Well our work here is done," Kree proclaims with a smile.

"Guess so, let's meet Chibi Cid in Kalm.Hey, first let's see if that new CD

is out!"

"Which new CD?

"Oh you know the new one!"

"No I don't know."

"Oh come on let's just go!"

"How we going to find the 'new one' there's plenty of 'new ones'?" 

Jen groans and grabs her wrist and heads for the music store in a huff.

************

After an hour of diligent searching they find the "new one" and head for the

counter with Kree mumbling something to the effect of Jen should have been a

Cloud cultist.In front of them in line looms a huge pink mass."Hey, isn't

that Cait Sith's Mog?," Jen asks.

"Well I don't know there are plenty of mogs," Kree growls.

"Sorry just looks like Cait's mog. "

In front of them the mog grumbles, "Why do I have to wait in line when I'm

destined to rule the world!," as he places an armful of Brittany Spears and N'sync

CD's of the counter.Then a smile spreads across his furry face.As he

reaches for his wallet a things to do list falls out of his pocket.

Jen reaches for it to give it back to him, but not before reading it herself.

Pink Apocalypse's To Do List:

1. Rob a bank - check

2. Steal Sephiroth's sword - check

3. Buy a Carton of Milk - check

4.Buy all the N'sync CD's in the world

5. Feed Fluffy -check

6.Buy all the Brittany SpearsCD's

7. Learn the ancient incantation of the Dancing Mog

8. Kill Cait Sith

9. Pick up the laundry from Bob's

10. Don't forget to TAKE OVER THE WORLD*** Dun Da DA!

"Does this say take over the world?," Jen asks raising an eyebrow.

Kree leans over, "I think your missing the point sis.Why would anyone in

their right mind what Brittany Spears and N'sync CDs?!"

"Maybe we should show this to Chibi Cid.And who the #%* is the Pink Apocalypse?"

"What a crappy name!"Just then the clerk called "next" and Jen stepped up

and placed her "new CD" on the counter.After paying for Jen's purchase the

two of them rushed out the door towards Kalm, almost forgetting they where on

the upper plate before stopping at the edge and running back to the train station.

**************************************************************************Kalm**

"What's taking them so $@#% Long!"Chibi Cid roared just as Kree and Jen

come bursting through the door.

"We've been waiting outside for fifteen minutes," Jen says exasperated.

"Why the $&^$ did you do that!?"

"We had to be on que, duh!," Kree answers.

"Watch it girl!Did ya get the Jell-o?"

"Ya, here," Jen says holding up the box.

"Hey, I was wondering Cid," Kree began, "Why are you the disembodied head of

Chibi Cid, anyway?"

"Ya remember that really bad hair cut I told you about?"

"The one that you won't go back to Midgar because of?," Jen asked.

"Ya, well, let's just say it was reallybad." Both girls grown.

"Anyway, ya didn't blow anything up this time did you?," Chibi Cid asks, he

would have had his hands on his hips at this particular moment had he not been

the disembodiedhead of Chibi Cid.

"Um... uh... no," both reply in unison.

"But anyway Chibi Cid you should look at the list," Jen says quickly to

change the subject and thrusts the piece of paper toward Chibi Cid.

**************************************************************************Meanwhile Elsewhere**

Mortal combat music begins playing in the background as Cait Sith looks up at

his Mog.His cute eyes squint up in concern."Hey Mog what are you doing,"

he laughs nervously as it advances towards him.

"I'm not you pathetic Mog any more. I'm so much better, for I control the

armies of the Dancing Mogs!! I am the PINK ONE!!I am oblivion made of

cotton!I AM THE PINK APOCALYPSE!!!

"You don't mean that we're buddies," He shifts uncomfortably and tries to

smile at his Mog, "Um... I don't get it what do you mean?"

"I'm the one calling the shots now!!!You can no longer control me!!!I

will be the manipulator!!"

"Mog...?"

"Enough talk Cait!," the Mog shouts and swings his fist up, sending Cait

flying across the room. The mog looks at his watch, "Time to die Cait!"The

cat pulls himself up and reaches for his crown sniffing back tears. "I don't

think so Cait," The Pink Apocalypse laughs and steps on Cait's hand twisting

and pulling his tiny arm off.Cait howls in pain as cotton spills onto the

floor. "Always shouting orders in you damn Mega Phone!!I won't take it any more!!"

"Don't you mean 'your'," Cait sniffs between screams.The Mog reaches down

and grabs the crown placing it on his head, then laughing he pulls out the Murasame.

"Shut you hole!"

In Horror, Cait ignores that last piece of bad grammar and squeaks, "That's

... that was Sephiroth's sword!!!" The mog smiles slashing down and even as

Cait screams his final cry cotton fills the air.

**************************************************************************Back

in Kalm**

"I know who the Pink Apocalypse is,"Chibi Cid says and again if he had not

been the disembodiedhead of Chibi Cid he would have scratched his chin here.

"It was five years ago in Nibelheim..."

**INSERT FLASH BACK HERE**

Finally Chibi Cid finishes and the room is silent.As Jen and Kree's sit

quietly totally missing the point of the flash back, Jen looks up and asks,

"How are you going to eat that Jell-O?"

"And where does it go?," Kree adds. 

Chibi Cid sighs and sways back and forth, "You $^%$ totally missed the point

of the story!!," then in exasperation wiggles his nose and disappears.

"Think he's mad?" Kree asks. Just then there is knock at the door.Jen walks

over and answers it.

"Telegram"

"For us?," she asks.

"Well I'm delivering it to your door, ain't I," the telegram dude says.Jen

glares at him and grabs the slip of paper and begins to read out loud.

"Cait is dead. Stop.You are next. Stop."

"What??!!!Who sent that?!!!,"

"You bastard!Oh well, He's not that good of a character anyway," Kree shrugs.

"Hey I didn't send it... sorry" the telegram dude says.

"Why would anyone kill Cait?"

"I bet Chibi Cid would know," Kree proclaims, jumping up. Kree looks up to

see the disembodied head of Chibi Cid float in. 

"Hey look speak of the disembodied head of Chibi Cid and he will appear."

"Had you been listening to my flash back you would know too! But first I have

something important to say all life depends of what I have to say....."

"You speak and we listen oh great disembodied head of Chibi Cid!!!!!," Jen

cries. 

Then falls to the ground on one knee and gazes upon the holy light of Chibi

Cid arms outstretched to behold the glory.Kree stands there absent-mindedly

(Like Cloud ... kya ha ha) for a moment before remembering what is going on

and falls to her knees as well.

"La de da

La de da

La

de

da"

"Oh great Disembodied head of Chibi Cid may I ask one question what the hell

does that mean, how is that going to help us and how do you scratch your nose?

Ok that

was more than one question, but who's counting," Kree says.

"%*^% do not mock the disembodied head of Chibi Cid ya whipper snapper!!!"

"Oh disembodied head of Chibi Cid she did not mean it!!Please forgive us!

She is living in her own imaginary world," Jen says whimpering.

"So sorry great disembodied head of Chibi Cid. It won't happen again," Kree

says, then whispers so that Jen can only hear, "Ass kisser."

Jen turns and glares at Kree.Whispering Jen says, "Am not!!Besides he is the

DISEMBODIEDhead of Chibi Cid... I couldn't kiss his ass even if I wanted to!"

Kree whispers, "Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Hem... All will be know in time... I sense evil forces here and my time is

short... if anything happens to me remember Chibi Vincent... and my words."

He smiles sweetly that the group. Jen moves to attach him for no particular

reason with her Save the Queenout stretched trying to pull back she raises the

blade for the fatal cut.

"What are you making me do!," Jen yells.The telegram guy looks on intrigued.

"What are you doing!," Kree shouts.

"Um... I don't know?"

"What the hey...," the telegram guy says

"This seems oddly familiar for some reason...," Jen mutters. From above the

disembodied head of Chibi Cid the Pink Apocalypse descends like a dark angle

from the skies, purple wings swirling behind in a esoteric dance.The

Murasame gleaming in hand as he runs it through the head of the disembodied

head of Chibi Cid.Chibi Cid's eyes slide shut as he falls to the ground and

the cigarette clenched tightly in his teeth falls to the ground, slowly

bouncing down the stairs before disappearing into the endless abyss of the

blue waters in the center of the room.No blood present anywhere.The Pink

apocalypse raises his head, red eyes gleaming.

"Hey where's the blood," Kree yells, "Oh yeah disembodied head of Chibi Cid!" 

Both scream the girls scream,"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!Chibi Cid!!"The Aeris

death song begins playing in the background. Jen runs to catch the head and

remains kneeling on the ground back turned to the Pink Apocalypse.

"Oh my god you killed the disembodied head of Chibi Cid, YOU BASTARD!!!!!,"

Kree yells, "Say that three times fast!"

"This can't be real!," Jen cries.

"Do not worry. 

Soon the girl will become

part of the planet's energy," the Pink Apocalypse laughs.

"Hey what the hell are you talking about. Chibi Cid is a GUY!," Kree shouts.

"Oh sorry, I got my scripts confused," the Pink Apocalypse says and pulls another

script out of thin air and studies it for a moment."Heh heh... Don't get so

uptight soon the disembodied head's power will become part of the mog's

energy! All that is left is to North. The great Chukie Cheese waits for me

over the snowy fields.

There I will raise-"

"Shut up.Chukie Cheeses' and your stupid plan don't mean a thing," Jen

sobs.

Chibi Cid is gone.

Cid will no longer laugh, cry-"

"Or get angry...," Kree adds.

Jen pulls the head closer to her, "What about us...what are WE supposed to do?

What about my pain?

My fingers are tingling.

My mouth is dry.

My eyes are burning!"

"Ok, OK enough!!! Your getting too melodramatic, Jen shut up. NOW!!," Kree orders.

"What is wrong it's just a floating head," the Pink Apocalypse snickers.

"Of course!

Who do you think I am!," Jen bursts out and gently sets the disembodied head

on the ground.

The Pink Apocalypse, the telegram man, and Kree turn and stare at her for a

moment."WHAT!!?," they all say.

Jen blushes, "Sorry got a little carried away.Please continue."

"All right....," the Pink Apocalypse says, "Where do we go from here... Oh

yea... You are a puppet... bla bla bla... But that does not matter for soon

none of you will exist!When I arrive at Chukie Cheese I will put my master

plan in action to reincarnate all

of the dead Final Fantasy characters as evil Mogs to take over the world and

then Disneyland... I just love that Dumbo ride."

Kree mumbles," Good thing we didn't blow up the Dumbo ride," as the Pink

Apocalypse reaches into his pocket.

"Aha!Damn!," he snaps his fingers, "I forgot my little hench man... oh well

you can fight him later!" With that twirls around and disappears into the sky.

Kree walks over to the corpse of Chibi Cid and puts her hand over her heart

and looks to the sky. Jen moves over and gently picks the head up and carries

it to the water where she gingerly releases it into the pool and Cid slowly

slips into the deep blue waters.

"Now what the hell do we do?," Kree asks.

"We gotta believe! heheheh.. wrong game... I mean we must go on for Chibi

Cid, we can not allow the Pink Apocalypse to carry out his evil plot... do you

know what this could mean??Rufus could be turned into a MOG!!NOOO!!!"

"What about Marlene! Chibi Cid too!!"

"Marlene is not dead Barret," Jen replies with sarcasm.

"I wish she was dead. How about we go and kill her?"

"Um... later... First we have to find Chibi Vincent... Cid said to go to him

if anything happened to him."

"Ok, lets go," Kree says.They turn and walk away from the pond in their hotel room with the telegram dude following.

**End Disk One**


	2. Under da Sea

Jen's brow knotted up in worry as she clenched the wheel tighter

The Pink Apocalypse: Cait Sith's Day Out

By: Pink_Apocalypse

** **

_Chapter 2:_

_ _

_Under Da Sea_

Jen's brow knotted up in worry as she clenched the wheel tighter trying to figure where she was and how the heck she managed to get lost in between Kalm and Chocobo Billy's.Come to think of it, the last really recognizable feature she had seen was the giant Emerald Weapon chasing behind her as she drove along the sea floor."WAIT!!!" she thought to herself,"Did I just say SEA FLOOR??!!!"

"Oh Kree is gonna kill me," she moaned as she glanced over at the sleeping form next to her in the passenger's seat."How did I manage to get this lost?" she thought looking in the rear view mirror to gaze at the sleeping telegram man in the backseat.There was something about a man in a blue uniform.As she stared at him for a "moment" she realized the radio seemed to be playing Disney tunes from the _Little Mermaid_. Grumbling she flicked off the radio as some one belted out the lines "_darling its better down where its wetter take if from me!_""Eyes on the…. um… kelp," she shouted at herself as she suddenly realized that maybe part of the reason she had had trouble staying on the road was, just maybe, that she had not looked at it once for in the past two hours.

She looked back in the mirror one last time and sighed before her eyes returned to the "road.""Now," she mumbled, "I really have to figure out where we are and get back on the main road… and before Kree wakes up or there will be hell to pay.Now, if I can think back to where I got lost maybe I can figure out where I am now… think, think! Okay, okay… I remember being in the hotel room in Kalm and then… then what?… I remember being here!Where the hell did I get this buggy!!!" 

Suddenly she was rocked out of her reverie as she saw two people walk by off to the side of the buggy."YES!!," she exclaimed, "I must be close to land because everybody knows that you can hold your breath underwater for twenty minutes and only twenty minutes to fight monsters, go fishing, sight seeing and what not… unless of course you eat before you get in the water without waiting an half an hour first.If you happened to be the poor sap that ate a pop tart before jumping in - then it just means certain DEATH!!!"

Looking over at Kree again Jen was really beginning to think that she would kill for a pop tart right about now.Suddenly, she heard something stir in the back seat.As her eyes returned to the rearview mirror she shrieked in horror, "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"

Slightly startled, Telegram Man froze with his hand on the window rolly-down thingy."What, its stuffy in here."

"For the love of all things Chibi, NO!If you open that window it will be the biggest mistake of your life... not to mention the last!!!"

"What are you talking about," he mumbled," as he turned to look out of the window and saw a giant yellow eye of a whale staring in."WHAT THE!!!," he shouted and after a pause he added, "… I think I saw just Moby Dick."

"Who's talking about their dick!!!," Kree roared suddenly as she jumped up slamming her head on the roof of the buggy."Ow," she said rubbing her head and looking around, "What am I doing in a buggy?? And whoever said that shut up!!!."She turned her head to the side and looked out the window. "Holy $@&*^%$#!!!!!!!," she shrieked and proceeded to jump up again and slam her head on the roof instantly knocking herself out.

"Shush!, " Jen said to Kree's comatose form. " You sound like the… oh Disembodied Head of Chibi Cid!," she wailed and threw her hands up sobbing.

"The wheel, the WHEEL," Telegram yelled.

"Oh, I'm watching the wheel!," she moaned.

"Um no!I meant to scream: The whale!!THE WHALE!!I think it's trying to … um… well eat us now!!!!."

"Um… I think this would qualify as a bad thing."

"Oh, yes, this is a bad thing!

"Wait! I have a plan!!Every good Chibi Cid Cultist is prepared for a situation like this.You always gotta be prepared, ya know!"

"Isn't that the boy scouts motto?"

Ignoring him Jen continued, "Ok here's the plan.When I give you the signal you roll down my window…"

"What!We'll drown!"

"No, remember we have twenty minutes.After you roll down the window I'll light a stick of dynamite…"

"Dynamite?Where did you get dynamite?"

She rolled her eyes tapping the goggles on her head."Whose cultist am I?Anyway, I'll light the dynamite..."

"Under water?"

"Yes, I don't get it either, but apparently fire follows the same twenty minute rule as people under water – go figure – but anyway here is the important part of the plan.Once the dynamite is lit I'll throw it at the whale!"

He shook his head, "Oh that's clever, Captain Ahab!"

"Just shut up and wait for the signal!Just then the whale opened its mouth and swam around in front of the buggy.As Jen shouted, "NOW!," Telegram rolled down the window, water rushed into the cabin, and Jen hurled the dynamite out the window.The stick exploded in a bright flash of light and the whale, the buggy, its two conscious, screaming occupants, and its one comatose passenger were flung high into the air.

_Authors notes:And there ya go a quick Chapter Two ended with a Bang!Heh heh heh, bad puns gotta love 'em.Sorry this kinda sucks, but I'm supposed to be studying – next time it'll be better – scout's honor! Stay tuned for the next installment as disco fever hits the world and Christmas in July in Cosmo!Wait it's still May – whatever!Next time the attack of the dancing MOGS!!! _

_ _

_And special thanks to our editor/ collaborator Sha the Confused and consultant the Great and Powerful Robinc!_


End file.
